195090

Joke of the Day

"My PhD candidate brother told me he is getting hooded in a few weeks. What a dumb ass- you can't undo a circumcision . . . . Woke up with this joke inside my head- original?"

"I'll tell you what is bordering on the ridiculous... Canada."

"A young Jewish boy asks his father for $50... His father says, ""$40? What do you want $30 for??"""

"Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded."

"Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over."

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex... ...but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia."

"forrest gump (1994): this film gave me very unrealistic expectations of what my life would be like as a huge idiot. 2/10"

"Son, you're kind of like rapunzel. But instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down."

"If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, ""Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"""

"What do you call old, expired Neosporin? Paleosporin"