195053

Joke of the Day

"Most young lives are lost not because of seat belts, but because the defibrillator needs you to sign into Facebook first."

"What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional."

"What do you get if you cross a telephone with a hunting dog? A golden receiver!"

"it's hard to retire if you are in the tire business it seems like you have more work to do."

"What is the worst thing you can hear while blowing Willie Nelson? I'm not Willie Nelson."

"They should have cast Daniel Craig in the 50 Shades of Gray movie They could have named his character James Bondage"

"My wife is like a delicious strawberry popsicle. Cold on the inside and 90% artificial."

"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic? Going inside and asking for a coat hanger."

"Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for indecent jurisprudence? He got off on a technicality."

"Approximately how many cows does it take to stock a grocery store with beef? Most of them won't even show up to work, but if you can get them there, two should be able to handle the job."