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Joke of the Day

"They should have cast Daniel Craig in the 50 Shades of Gray movie They could have named his character James Bondage"

"All I did from 1984-1990 was try to shoot the laughing dog in Duck Hunt"

"When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, ""DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"" People always clap when she wakes up."

"I had to change my GPS's voice from female to male because the female GPS told me to pull over and ask for directions."

"What do you get when you cross Paris Hilton with Iggy Azalea? A horribly depraved piece of human garbage."

"Why do people never eat clocks?.... Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."

"My local newspaper is running an innuendo competition. I might enter my sister."

"What do you call a Jew with Down Syndrome? A baked potato."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear, the other's a great year."

"What is the worst part of being a pedophile? Fitting in. No? Too old for childish jokes? Sorry."