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Joke of the Day

"They should have cast Daniel Craig in the 50 Shades of Gray movie They could have named his character James Bondage"

"Knowledge is knowing that papers are best written with alcohol and edited with caffeine. Wisdom is realizing that this does not make a Jagerbomb a study tool"

"I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts ""Batman"" when he's drunk. I know I do."

"Never trust an anti-aging lotion that has an expiry date."

"What do you call a midget fortune teller who kills his customers? A small medium at large."

"Arab man gets on a bus and a Jewish woman scoffs and pinches her nose.... Arab says, youve got the problem lady, Ishmael good *OC, Dont hate, probably not as bad if you verbalize it."

"[pharmacy] ""I'd like a refill for this bottle of pills"" PHARMACIST: Would you like childproof? ""No thanks, I already believe in children"""

"""Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!"" - people with stupid names"

"""Hey, my eyes are up here! LOL, just kidding, they're everywhere."" - the government"

"Just watched a woman put on her sunglasses before walking into a restaurant, in case you wondered what living in LA is like."