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Joke of the Day

"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode."

"Up dawg A man sees a long lost friend he says... 'Up dawg' 'What that?' 'What's what?' 'What's up dawg?' 'Nothing much hbu' '...? Oh hahahahahaha '"

"Got so drunk last week that I married a thermostat Talk about turning the heat up on a relationship."

"In order to write a good essay about trees.. ..you'll need to write a good photosynThesis."

"What do cows do when they're introduced? They give each other a milk shake!"

"If I could fly, I know who I'd shit on first."

"If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band what's his other favorite instrument to play? A trombone."

"Me: Nice new car, boss Boss: Well, if you set yourself targets, work hard, stay focused, next year I'll be able to buy an even better one"

"A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say farmer. Is that bull safe? Well he's a lot safer than you are right now!"

"If Barrack Obama wrote a book what would it be called? 50 states of gay."