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Joke of the Day

"a neanderthal scrawls a message on a cave wall, the etchings begin to glow red as he exceeds 140 characters"

"[laying in bed] wife: Did you remember to find a stud before you hung the TV up? me: Yes *sound of TV crashing to the floor* me: No"

"lol How much did the Holla Caust? 6 Million Jews"

"Either Chewbacca is in the next stall or someone needs to start adding green leafy vegetables to their diet."

"Let's make fake tan orange people an official race so we can discriminate against them properly."

"The Sun doesn't need to go to college Because it already has 28 million degrees."

"Has anyone here seen the Matthew McConaughey movie where he keeps getting grouchy in the early evenings and no one can figure out why...? Failure to Lunch?"

"""I liked small butts. I was lying."" - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession"

"My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it."

"Made up a classy joke, give me your feedback... I broke up with my clone the other day. Being sincere, I told him ""its not you, its me""."