194592

Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage? He had cold feet."

"Knock Knock. Who's there? No, he's on first. **I totally just thought of this, where do I go to collect my money?** *Edit: spelling"

"A Jew, A Christian, A Lawyer, A Doctor, A Blonde, and a Biker walk into a bar........ the bartender goes ""what is this some kind of joke or something?!"""

"I never really liked the word syllable. It's seems pretty full of itself."

"A guy just said he wants to know what I got ""in the trunk"" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"What's the difference between a cockroach and the Japanese? A nuke won't kill a cockroach"

"I organized a threesome this past weekend. There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had a good time."

"Why didn't Count Dracula get married? He wanted to remain a bat-chelor."

"As a customs officer, I don't always agree with people... ...but I see where they come from."