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Joke of the Day

"A guy just said he wants to know what I got ""in the trunk"" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard"

"I'm like a kid. People like me best when I'm quiet or sleeping."

"If I were British these tweets would be worth 1.61 times as much."

"How does Sean Connery find his way to the toilet? With a shat nav."

"With all the news about Bristol Palin's pregnancy, I can't help but think abortion may have been the right answer... Her grandmother probably regrets not having one."

"If you read into something enough, it can be offensive. I like puppies"

"Someone check the bulletin board... I think it's been shot!"

"Why are Iranian women always eating? They can't stop getting stoned"

"Why are all Stormtroopers virgins? Because they don't hit anything."

"Why yes, YouTube, I *did* want to watch part 5 when part 2 ended. How did you know?"