61899

Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"What do you call spending time with you family through BDSM? Family bondage time."

"What do robots do at the rave? They torque."

"What do mechanical keyboards want for dinner? Chicken ticka ticka ticka masala"

"Before Twitter, I'd ignore dumb thoughts in my head like ""How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?"" Now, I tweet them"

"Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic."

"When asked why he wouldn't upgrade his operating system to Windows 8... Arnold Schwarzenegger replied: 'Windows 8, never! I still love Vista baby'..."

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head. (Get the reference?)"

"Why didn't Jesus get into college? Because he got nailed on the boards."

"Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were a kid? He's back in town and wants your number."