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Joke of the Day

"[JOB INTERVIEW] {Don't let them know you're a tectonic plate} ""What would you say is your biggest fault?"" San Andreas?"

"Did you hear about the guy who accidentally washed his wallet? He was arrested for money laundering"

"I went to a shredded cheese convention the other day... it was grate"

"Old Navy claims their Whirly Skirt is ""the most fun a girl can have for $15."" They obviously haven't been on a trip with me to Mexico."

"I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool ""This is my 24th winter"" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart"

"Told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help. She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night."

"Best Depiction of a Dystopian Past or Future Full of Really Attractive People #NewOscarCategories"

"I went to the zoo. So I went to the zoo last week. It was such a bad experience. I paid 20 bucks and there was only 1 animal there. A dog. It was a shit zoo."

"How do you call a lesbian's pussy? The no man's land. (From me, but that's an easy one, so someone must have come up with it before. But as a frenchman, I'm pretty proud of it.)"

"A blonde walks into a library... No, that's it. That's the joke."