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Joke of the Day

"Told my wife I was so stressed that only a blowjob would help. She asked me where I was going to find a dick to suck at this time of night."

"That awkward moment when you're digging a hole to hide a body, and you find another body #truestory"

"I asked Christian Bale how many ex's he had... ...he started counting, and then he fell asleep! (works with any welsh person's name)"

"Why did the empty string do immoral things? Because it had no character."

"Saw this a while back There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those that understand binary and those who do not."

"How many frat brahs does it take to screw in a light bulb? None- it's already lit, fam"

"My 8 year old son wrote this... What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes? A poultry-geist."

"What does Shaggy ask himself when he's in a bind? What would Scooby doo?"

"Tissues are for tearful issues and for when people think it's funny but it's snot."

"""Look man, I swear to you, as god as my witness..."" [God appears from behind dumpster] ""I ain't coverin for u anymore Larry, you owe me $30"""