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Joke of the Day

"Just because I don't talk to you, or text you first, doesn't mean I don't miss you. I'm just waiting for you to miss me."

"If used correctly, Twitter can be used as an antidepressant. Just don't take it as a suppository."

"Can a cigar box? No, but a tin can."

"Do you know why newspapers don't print the pictures of all criminals? They would run out of black ink"

"Women have a better memory than men... Because they change it so often."

"Why did Donald Trump defend the size of his dick? Cuz he's gonna use it to fuck the Republican party."

"First Spaceman: I'm hungry. Second Spaceman: So am I it must be launch time !"

"Would a cosplay of the Hunchback of Notre Dame be called... ... a quasi-Quasimodo?"

"Survey Says A survey found that 20% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house, and 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife."

"I just farted in an elevator. Which was wrong on so many levels."