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Joke of the Day
"""My lips are sealed."" -Virgins."
Next Joke
"Instead of a wallet, I always keep my money in an envelope that says ""For the orphans"" so people will feel terrible if I'm ever murdered."
"IF U WANNA BE MY LOVER you gotta get me a large three topping pizza with stuffed crust"
"Why do Asians prefer Sony? Because it's a stereo type"
"hey babe i got this new cologne called colon and i smell like my digestive system i hope you like it"
"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I just did didn't I you stupid fool!!"
"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, & acceptance: the five stages of watching them put lettuce on your sandwich at Subway."
"I keep trying to make funny eye puns... But my friends say they keep getting cornea and cornea."
"What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor? Black humor - 12 children in one trash can Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children"
"For Christmas my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds. So I bought her a scale."