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Joke of the Day

"Sigmund Freud discovered the ""Freudian Slip"" which in my opinion, was pure penis...I mean genius."

"Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage."

"What is Bill Cosby's favorite hotel chain? Red Roofie Inn. I'll show myself out."

"So a vegan crossfitter and a homophobic priest simultaneously walk in to a bar.. Then they both went to the hospital for head wounds."

"I heard that Being the one to circumcise elephants doesn't pay too well But the tips are huge!!"

"Lottery- Gilbert Gottfried A man comes home to his wife and says ""Honey pack your bags I just won the lottery!"" She says ""What should I pack?"" He says ""I don't care just pack and get the fuck out!"""

"What does a blowjob and a steady job have in common ? I haven't had either in five years"

"I hired an old German plumber when remodeling my apartment He was a great guy, very reliable and thorough. But it seems old habits die hard. He connected gas main to my shower."

"How do you get over a fear of elevators? Just take some steps to avoid them!"

"[standing at the hospital nursery window with other new parents] ME: this zoo is terrible"