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Joke of the Day

"You hang up ""No, you hang up"" You hang up first! - Bats going to bed"

"My son has about 12 seconds to learn patience."

"I imagine the hardest part of becoming a supervillain is getting your doctorate."

"I'm not asking questions for that friend anymore. Too embarrassing."

"What's a minister's favorite food? Tacos al pastor"

"There's a party in my pants and everyone's invited but nobody ever shows up. I wish my pants would stop throwing parties. It's humiliating."

"I grew up in a town made from wool It was a real close-knit community."

"If you only speak one language you have no excuse to suck at it."

"my favorite perfume is really expensive so I keep buying the same issue of Vogue and rubbing the sample on me"

"Having sex with people that have low IQs is f*cking stupid"