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Joke of the Day

"Why do all Egyptian's farts smell the same? Because they have a tutankhamun!"

"One thing that all us white guys from the suburbs can agree on is if a black guy has a British accent, we're 85% less scared of him"

"In an attempt to raise profits ... I've heard that Malaysian Air is considering offering 1/2 way tickets."

"Well, it's Feb 6th 2012 and there's no meat flavored cigarettes. I guess that book of predictions I made in 5th grade was bullshit."

"Why does chav code never compile? They end every statement with init"

"Oh I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood. This is a Ferrets wheel. When your compartment is 90 feet in the air, we release the ferrets."

"If a movie is ever titled Reception, we know it won't be starring AT&T.; Am I right? Up top!"

"Judging people on Twitter is equivalent to an alcoholic showing up to an AA meeting and making fun of all the other drunks."

"You'd think that people who kept their head warm would tend to be healthier... but as it turns out, people who wear turbans are actually more likely to be Sikh"

"As an adult very few things are less humiliating than being caught in public trying to be cute for a selfie."