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Joke of the Day

"""She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture."" Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend."

"""Hi, I'm here for Paradox Club."" -Actually this is Oxymoron Club. ""Ok, same difference."" *looks at group* -Oh, this guy is good."

"I met my town's bishop at Easter mass today but I think he might be an imposter... ... he didn't move diagonally"

"Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church? Because they sing hymns, not hers."

"Age 15: kids are stupid Age 25: kids are stupid Age 35: I love my kids but kids are stupid"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Its a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it"

"Why didn't The Cold War happen? Russia kept Stalin it"

"The Embarrassing Moment by Lucy Lastic"

"I'm sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the same way you treat everyone all the time."

"I turned off Auto-Correct for the first time, and now my new girlfriend thinks she has a face that launched a 1000 shits."