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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the same way you treat everyone all the time."

"What is the best ""bang for your buck""? Vaseline."

"Would everyone in the room who believes in telekinesis... Please raise my hand?"

"What do you say when you leave the UAE? Dubai-bye!"

"The GPA is not my son... But I will raise it."

"Did you hear about the hipster who burnt his tongue? He took a bite before it was cool."

"What would albert einstein's name be if he was blonde? Nobody would know"

"What's the integral of 2x with the limits from 10 to 13? A good time ;)"

"My guidelines for whether or not to have sex with a female were the same as how I chose outdoor sports. If there was grass on the field, I played ball."

"Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself."