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Joke of the Day

"Man: I want to share everything with you. Woman: Let's start from your bank account."

"Did you hear about Etchisketchestan? It got destroyed be an earthquake."

"sorry I cut you off mid-sentence so I could sprint after an ice cream truck"

"Why did Jimmy drop his icecream? He got hit by a bus!"

"Why did Hitler shoot himself? He saw his gas bill!"

"How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't get up that high!"

"I hit a Milestone today and now my fist really hurts."

"When the UPS guy hands you that pad where you digitally sign your name, you can put anything. Today I put ""lame shorts"" and nothing happened"

"I just started the tequila diet and I'm making great progress! I've already lost 2 days!"

"My therapy group is a joke. The doctor is supposed to match you with people you have something in common with but everyone here is nuts."