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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Etchisketchestan? It got destroyed be an earthquake."

"9% Smarter Why are men 9% smarter after sex? They were plugged into a Genius."

"Email inventor dies aged 74 I sent my re:re:re:re:re:gards"

"Dear 6-year-old me: As an adult you won't need to know cursive but you will need an ability to type with your thumbs. The future is weird."

"My ex is looking for a job but I don't think satan is retiring anytime soon so I suppose she'll be unemployed for a while."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"CLICKBAIT TITLE (*bad pun goes here*) (*necessary edit acknowledging upvotes and more bad puns in comments*) (*necessary second edit for the anon's gold*)"

"A beautiful woman is like the perfect shot of vodka Transparent, ice cold, and utterly tasteless."

"How come I need a complex, indecipherable password to get on Twitter but only a 4-digit number to remove all my money from an ATM?"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back"