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Joke of the Day

"I think the most profound advice my father ever told me was... ""Stop using me in your bullshit stories."""

"How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime? He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy"

"If you're looking for a good place to buy a Blackberry, I'd suggest 2006."

"Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her."

"I don't have any good science related jokes to tell Because most of the good jokes argon"

"Would you rather have parkinsons or alzheimers? Personally I'd rather have parkinsons, cos I'd rather have half a pint than forget where I've put it!"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my chest."

"If I had a nickle for every time I heard the word Diversity at the Oscars.. I still wouldn't give a shit."

"I'm selling shirts for armless people called Ampu-T's."

"me: an open casket with my vape pen hanging from my mouth wedding DJ: i meant final requests for songs man"