193705

Joke of the Day

"Just made eye contact with my hot neighbor through the window Wish I didn't have 6 marshmallows in my mouth."

"*drives motorized scooter into meeting I'm late for, around the conference table, and out the door*"

"Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on ""America's Most Wanted."""

"Just got a joke after 2 weeks. Pavlov is sitting down reading a book. All of the sudden the phone rings and he says ""Fuck,I forgot to feed the dogs""."

"Want to hear my impression of an extractor fan? I used to like tractors, but I don't anymore."

"Why was the two-dimensional emo sad? Because nobody would ever know how deep he was."

"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with ""A man once told me..."""

"Where do ghosts live? At the dead end."

"""Are you a member of any organized political party?"" ""No. I'm a Republican."""

"What do you call graveyard shenanigans? Tombfoolery."