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Joke of the Day

"*drives motorized scooter into meeting I'm late for, around the conference table, and out the door*"

"I remember back when I had to charge my Nokia 8210 once every 96 days. My iPhone lost 4% just typing this tweet."

"I heard a backwards symphony coming from Beethoven's grave Turns out he's decomposing"

"It's a good thing the Island of Lesbos is not in the United States Not sorry..."

"Asian Pregnancy Test: Insert Rubix cube into Vagina. Pull it out 30 seconds later. If its solved....... you are pregnant."

"How does one sink, that which floats? How does one sync, that which floats? Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats."

"Statistically speaking, every male has had a crush on a teacher... For me, it's my wife's yoga instructor."

"What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common? The same middle name."

"I don't think black people know that you can get just one tattoo."

"There was a man who left a boombox on a mountain. The rocks were rocking on."