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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? - She starts her sentence with ""A man once told me..."""

"What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a convicted serial sex offender? Convicted"

"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom."

"I don't need to be rich, it would just be nice to live in a neighborhood where I could be confident that that noise was definitely fireworks"

"Psychologists who have examined Oscar Pistorius say that he is at risk of suicide. Especially if he confuses himself with a burglar."

"Just getting romantic with the wife when our slow cooker set off our smoke alarm so yes, I was crock blocked."

"What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business"

"What do you call an arcade game that involves you hitting avocados that pop out of the top of it? Guac-A-Mole."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic."

"Have you heard about Bruce Willis' new movie in which he has to infiltrate a Nunnery? ""Bad Habits Die Hard."""