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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear my impression of an extractor fan? I used to like tractors, but I don't anymore."

"A woman asked her husband ""what trait of me do you love the most?'' ''My beautiful face? My sexy body?"" The husband looked at her from top to bottom, and answered, ""I love your humor."""

"Who are the real Guardians of the Galaxy? Security at Samsung."

"[Wife walks in wearing nothing but whipped cream] Oh my god, Linda, it's like you've never even heard of ants."

"My favorite genre of rap is bragging about all the murders you committed then complaining the cops pull you over for no reason."

"lobster christian grey: 'my tastes are very.....singular' *opens closet door revealing hundreds of rubber bands*"

"What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine? One doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it."

"The Mars mission should include an artist to capture the alien planet The art would be out of this world."

"What was Cambodia's biggest export in the 90s? Pol Potting mix."

"Why couldn't you trust the king of the jungle? He was a lion."