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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to find a cure for blindness. YOU'LL SEE! YOU'LL ALL SEE!"

"By the nervous look on his face I thought my boyfriend had an engagement ring hidden in his hand but it was just a stranger's bra. Whew."

"My friend decided to become an astrophysicist instead of an engineer. I guess you could say he got sucked into black holes."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up a girls ass."

"How do the Chinese name their children They drop silverware in the sink and listen to the sound it makes"

"Vegan ribs are actually delicious! The hardest part is hunting down the vegan."

"You're right, vegetarian. Meat IS murder. ...and I'm sure no bunnies, squirrels or mice died during the harvesting of your garden salad."

"I watched Canadian porn today... 2 girls 1 Stanley Cup ----------------- Credit Jeff Ross"

"JUDGE: I sentence you to 2 consecutive life sentences [60 yrs later: convict dies, is reincarnated] COP: This baby camel is under arrest"