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Joke of the Day

"I watched Canadian porn today... 2 girls 1 Stanley Cup ----------------- Credit Jeff Ross"

"Houses in detroit are a lot like cheap ugly hookers... Only $1, but still no one wants them."

"Oh no I got so excited that you texted me that I accidentally replied 11 thousand times and then swung into your house on a rope"

"Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician."

"What did Tom hanks do in the woods? He took a forrest dump."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil."

"""I have to poop"" ~What teenagers say when they don't want to do something you've asked them to do"

"Election results are coming in from Warsaw So we'll soon see who's leading the Poles."

"I thought girls liked guys who are assholes? The entire subway ride I refused my seat to like 20 women and not one gave me their number."

"The fattest Knight at the round table was Sir Cumference. He had too much pi"