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Joke of the Day

"My friend decided to become an astrophysicist instead of an engineer. I guess you could say he got sucked into black holes."

"Why is Denmark the happiest country on Earth? Because all the sad people there kill themselves."

"Why haven't we found aliens yet ? because they are searching for intelligent life too."

"It just occurred to me that we have to make all the jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker while she's still alive.. Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse..."

"What do call a bad haircut you got from a Native American? A-patchy scalping Edit: Changed haircut to scalping. Because that's what I came up with this morning."

"If I pay $40 for a haunted house I better die"

"I don't believe you can become a successful bodybuilder without the use of supplements. There's just no whey."

"What is Russia's favorite type of pasta? Putinesca"

"Study Finds Birth Control Pills Linked to Fewer Severe Knee Injuries in Teen Girls... This is easily explained by the fact that they spend less time on their knees, and more time on their backs."

"Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex? Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position."