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Joke of the Day

"POLICE: POLICE! OPEN UP! ME: My parents never loved me. POLICE: NOT EMOTIONALLY! OPEN THE DOOR! ME: That makes way more sense."

"Skills can be taught. Character you either have or you don't have."

"I'll catch you later: Cool thing to say to a friend, scary thing to say to a child."

"/r/Jokes won the International Green Awards! 97% recycled content."

"Interviewer: says here you have a military background Me [getting out my phone]: yeah but I changed to a picture of my dog eating spaghetti"

"My ex was an absolute treasure. By treasure, I mean you will need a map and a shovel to find her."

"Question: What did the Cabbage say to the cab driver when he passed his stop? Answer: ""STOP THE CAB-BAGE"" Ps - The joke is to say it out loud and figure out what you are actually saying."

"The best curve on a girl is her smile. Lol just kidding, look at dat ass."

"So I said to Rhianna, ""what is it Chris Brown does that 's so attractive?"", and she said,... ""Beats me!""."

"If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup."