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Joke of the Day

"So I said to Rhianna, ""what is it Chris Brown does that 's so attractive?"", and she said,... ""Beats me!""."

"A seal walks into a club. The end."

"[After reading vows] Me: Why are you upset? Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice."

"I like my coffee how I like my women. Without some other guys dick in it."

"How do you make Instagram worthy coffee? #nofilter"

"2 weeks sober. I'm 2 weeks Sober, Unintentionally. Now I'm sitting here wondering why good things happen, to bad people."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just beat the room for being black."

"Last night, Gotye won Record of the Year. Parents were like, ""Who's Gotye?"" while their kids were like, ""What's a record?"

"Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,"