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Joke of the Day
"I'll catch you later: Cool thing to say to a friend, scary thing to say to a child."
Next Joke
"Hello! Is this the police ? POLICE: Yes! What's Ur emergency??! MAN: Two girls are fighting over me! POLICE: What's wrong with that??! MAN: The ugly one is winning.... Hurry!!!"
"I've never had a beard before this one and I didnt like it at first. But its really growing on me."
"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered child molester."
"I'd like to buy this EXTRA SMALL condom please. ""Sir, that is a sleeping bag"" *winks at cashier continually until she finishes her shift*"
"If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July"
"[Clinic waiting room] Me: WHEN DO WE DO BUTT STUFF??! Nurse: Sir don't shout that! Me: [whispering to old lady next to me] butt stuff. when?"
"I've started a business building yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof."
"What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry?Never lick the spoon."
"(bad joke) What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower? A toe-mat-o."