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Joke of the Day

"Question: What did the Cabbage say to the cab driver when he passed his stop? Answer: ""STOP THE CAB-BAGE"" Ps - The joke is to say it out loud and figure out what you are actually saying."

"I make more money than Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerburg combined And all I do is work at the U.S. Mint"

"If you made a viral video of a cow... It'd be called a bo-Vine."

"""Better to be pissed off than pissed on!"" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss."

"What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest? Alien vs. Predator"

"QUESTION: Do you know what is honeymoon? ANSWER: A short period of doting between dating and debting."

"I love when people say ""If people hate you, it only means you're doing something right."" Because that's what Hitler would say."

"How do you make an ugly baby? Ask your parents."

"Daughter: Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor? Me: Because they have boring parents, darling."

"*gets caught breaking into used car lot* *desperately attempts to blend in with inflatable arm flailing tube men*"