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Joke of the Day

"Hi Gilded, I am Kind Stranger EDIT: wow i am gilded, thank you kind stranger"

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"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him."
"How heavy is a Chinese dumpling? Wonton."
"What reddit page has that link/picture you're looking for? The next page."
"My truck handles great... the amount of G's it can pull in a corner is only limited by the amount of rope."
"Seal goes out with friends. A seal walks into a club."
"I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation."
"What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend? See ya next month."
"Arguing with your parents is like trying to explain how to download music from iTunes to a plant."
"When is it time to go to bed at Michael Jackson's house? When the big hand touches the little hand."