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Joke of the Day

"Me: You're gorgeous Her: OMG that is so sweet, c'mere *I walk right past her & start french kissing her collection of scented candles*"

"[NSFW] How do you mount your virtual girlfriend? With a hard drive bae."

"Standing in disbelief at an automated door that isn't opening for me is the closest I'll ever feel to having been born rich."

"How do male civil unions not end with the phrase ""I dude""?"

"What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman? He just wants her to be down to Mars"

"Some people age like wine, others age like milk."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rabbit? A dead rabbit with a big hole."

"What is today's best punch line? Paul christoforo"

"If I ever have a daughter I want to name her Noe. It would be pronounced like Noel and spelled the same but with no 'L'."

"A man who is infatuated with soil... has a dirty fetish."