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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between herpes and mono? You get one from snatching a kiss."

"Came up with a somewhat original dead child joke today. How is a ten year old different from a pizza? Pizza doesn't beg for you to finish it off when you only eat half of it."

"What did the gold miner say when he met the singer of Pink Floyd? Au"

"[being carried away by a colony of ants] haha nice let's see where this goes"

"I always love the reaction I get after I cannonball into a public pool. ""OMG, Where's my baby!?"""

"What did the Italian say to his grandmother with alzheimer's? fugetaboutit!"

"Why couldn't JFK become a boxer? Because he couldn't take a shot to the head!"

"A teenage boy asks his granny: 'Have you seen my pills, they are labelled LSD? Granny: ""Fuck the pills; have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?"""

"A laptop made in the United States is a portable device. A laptop made in Mexico is a deportable device."

"Donation A man knocked on my door the other day asking for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I have him a glass of water"