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Joke of the Day

"New Year New Joke Friend: Where do you see yourself in 4 years? Me: I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"""I just called to say I love you."" -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work"

"i imagine my dog spends a lot of time thinking about how tall i am and how great it is to have a giant as a best friend who can reach treats"

"It's nice that lions don't mind looking like 80's rock stars."

"Just watched 7 hours of the Inside of my Eyelids Channel. Lotta black shows."

"What do buffalo do when they get sick? They Yak"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a whore?` None. They both fuck people for a living."

"I'm gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style."

"Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey... I am color blind. :("

"My favorite thing about all the people waiting in line for the new iPhones is for those hours the rest of the world is a better place."