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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna be upset when HBO starts killing off Sesame Street characters one by one Game Of Thrones style."

"Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because he was Haydn."

"I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high."

"How is an undergraduate degree like a pedophile? A minor makes both of them hard"

"What branch of government actually listens to the people? [The NSA !](/spoiler)"

"Have you seen the new iPhone card trick? It's the one where all the jacks dissappear"

"My friend collects scoliosis journals He has *back* issues."

"So my girlfriend told me her dog ate some tampons... I told her to call the vet, maybe they can pull some strings."

"Delivering the punchline too early. You know what's the only thing worse than delivering the punchline to a joke too late?"

"Me: yeah, I'm not going to make it in today. Boss:of course, this snow is crazy. Me: Snow?"