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Joke of the Day

"My cousin found his dad's Viagra, took a handful of the pills, and is now in the hospital... ...with third-degree burns on both of his hands."

"I asked my wife to bring me a Kinder Surprise when she went to the supermarket... She delivered."

"What do you get when you cross a rooster and a telephone pole??? A 30 foot cock that helps you reach out and touch someone!"

"Just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Will keep you posted."

"My neighbor is a real douche & always cheating on his wife, so I changed my wifi to KARL IS CHEATING ON YOU AMY for when she needs my wifi."

"The Germanwings plane was a lot like a small flame used as an ignition source You know, 'cause it was a pilot light"

"What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit? ""WITNESS ME!"""

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? The question is irrelevant, because as soon as the first angel steps onto the head, the tip will rub against the ground, making it pointless."

"How to make friends: Put your clothes on backwards so people don't notice you walking up to them."

"If Russia attacked Turkey from behind... ...would Greece help?"