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Joke of the Day

"The Germanwings plane was a lot like a small flame used as an ignition source You know, 'cause it was a pilot light"

"What does a man with a 9 inch penis eat for breakfast? Well, Right now I'm frying up some eggs, got some toast in the toaster and the coffees brewing."

"Just because this is a public space doesn't mean my tweets are meant for ALL of you to read! Please respect my privacy at this time!!!"

"I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me."

"Accidentally tweeted the typo ""iLettuce"" a few minutes ago and now Apple fans are lining up in front of my house."

"Salad is the decaf of food."

"When you get to my age, your milkshake still brings boys to the yard, but they're like ""I'm lactose intolerant."""

"Batman walks into a Wayne Enterprise meeting and starts talking stocks. He realises he forgot to change. He drops a gas pellet and runs out."

"what kind of knife is used to perform female circumcision? a beaver cleaver"

"Why are Skeleton's so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."