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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa told me that ""your generation relies too much on technology."" I responded with, ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" Then I unplugged his life support."

"Be like Mario! Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!"

"I put the ""native"" in descriminative... Wait, that's not good."

"I'm working on my second $million I finally gave up on the first."

"Why did the feminist sign up for football? She wanted to be the center of attention."

"Why do so many Asians wear glasses? All that squinting gives them astigmatism"

"What did one piece of butter say to the other? Aaayyy mah butter from another udder"

"Doubt this is welcome in /r/ShowerThoughts but thought of it there. How many rascist Drink names can we collectively think of? I'll edit the best ones into this post. Mine was ""*White Power*-ade""."

"If Carly Fiorina had a sex change... ...do you think that she might also change her name to Charlie Feelmaweena?"

"I'm the dog whisperer. I'll whisper the word ""dog"" 20.. hell, 30 times if the price is right"