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Joke of the Day

"I put the ""native"" in descriminative... Wait, that's not good."

"I know a place where the recycling rate is 99% /r/jokes"

"The water from a drinking fountain tastes like pennies and mumps."

"A guy walks into a bar with a gun and shouts ""Which one of you fuckers is reposting jokes on r/jokes?"" A voice from the back called out ""I don't think you have enough bullets m8."""

"We should all be as confident as those tiny, always-shaking dogs that aren't afraid to bark at things 50 times their size."

"ME: Siri listen very carefully. I need you to quietly dial 911, and... SIRI: I HAVE FOUND TWO RESTAURANTS WITHIN 5 MILES OF YOUR LOCATION."

"A man starts having a heart attack mid flight... Person: Is anyone here a doctor? Vegan: I'm a vegan"

"What do you call a raft full of black people? Smoke on the water. ... My most sincere apologies."

"I was thinking of making sperm-brand merchandise... ...because sex cells"

"Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said ""concentrate""! "