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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to prison and his cell mate asks ""are you going to be mummy or daddy?"" ""ahh...daddy"" the man replies nervously. ""fine. Now get over here and suck mummy's cock!"""

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid to have a garbanzo bean on me"

"How's anal like your first car? (x-post from r/funny) You don't really want it, but your dad gives it to you anyways. (From Dark Humor on FB)"

"It's ironic that most people don't understand irony"

"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."

"That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you're a guy."

"For your information, we'll be remembered as the generation who thought a fat Korean pretending to ride a horse was entertaining to look at."

"Why doesn't ISIS attack Israel? Same reason children don't attack their parents..."

"I once threw a fish off of the roof of my house. I guess you could say the bass dropped."

"What's the difference between a bear and the Bears football team? Nothing, they both shit in the woods."