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Joke of the Day

"After an outage, what time does the power come back on? 12:00 --:-- 12:00 --:--"

"What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? a drummer ..."

"Subway Jared ended his career just like how he started it... ...by trying to get into smaller pants"

"my 14 year old came back with this after his biology class Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane? A. osmoses"

"Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder"

"If you're ever lost in the woods and have a compass, the compass can help you be lost more north."

"What do you call Samsung store security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy."

"It's a bird! It's a plane- -OH SHIT A PLANE IS COMING TOWARDS THE BUILDING"

"?When the moon hits your eye? You'll be killed. It's massive."

"How much does wonton soup weigh? One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it."