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Joke of the Day
"What do you call Samsung store security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy."
Next Joke
"No my carpet doesn't match my drapes cause I don't have carpet , Duh...."
"Some nights I wonder if the little boy from the sweatshop that made my iPhone is staring up at the same stars I'm Instagraming."
"They always punch up the fuckline. Why can't dyslexics tell jokes?"
"What's the best way to cross the border? In the trunk of a car."
"Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa"
"My daughter just informed me that 75% of you follow me because of how I look. I'm not sure if I'm flattered or insulted."
"Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick? Because the Doctor can never see him."
"""Let's play 21 questions"" Nigerian Girl: how tall are you? Nigerian Guy: Rice. What's the worst thing you've done with a guy?"
"Another bunny"