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Joke of the Day

"?When the moon hits your eye? You'll be killed. It's massive."

"I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years... .... so her dad was very surprised when I proposed. He had no idea I was gay."

"Where's the best place to hide after a murder? Behind a badge"

"Did you hear the joke about the deaf guy? He didn't either."

"instagram me like one of your drunk girls"

"Police were called to a day care Toddler was resisting a rest."

"A photon checks into a hotel... The bellhop asks him if he has any luggage and the photon replies ""No. I'm travelling light."""

"Me winding up as the last man on earth is an unlikely scenario, but an awful lot of women seem to have already thought it through."

"If Gingrich were to win the presidency... ...can we call his current wife the ""third lady?"""

"Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf"