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Joke of the Day

"1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil."

"A sad time in a dad's life is when your son finally dunks on you so you have to cut his hamstring while he sleeps so he can't do it again"

"Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn. (Stolen from laffy taffy)"

"""I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down"" ~Bowling pins"

"Monogamy First, do no harem."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Becka ! Becka who ? Becka the bus is the best place to sit !"

"Did you know that if you put your finger on your nose there is a 99% chance... That your finger is gonna be on your nose... What were you expecting to find?"

"I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn't long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off. I love counterfeiting stuff"

"COLLEGE MEMORIES: After the girl I was kissing used my bathroom, I noticed my toilet seat was left up. So I asked if I could suck her dong."

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a BMW? I don't have a BMW in my garage. ....and if I did, I *probably* wouldn't masturbate in it."