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Joke of the Day

"A sad time in a dad's life is when your son finally dunks on you so you have to cut his hamstring while he sleeps so he can't do it again"

"Opposites don't always attract. I've met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing."

"Did you hear about the factory run by a hangman? All work has been suspended."

"[office] Me: Happy Black Friday! Latisha: ... Me: I made a cake! Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: It's chocolate."

"The Tomato Pastor began his sermon to the Salad Congregation ""Lettuce pray"""

"How do you know when your vegetables are boiled? Their wheelchair floats to the top."

"When your mother asks if you are sexually active, the correct response is not ""No, I just lie there."""

"What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !"

"I've got a new habit. And a naked dead nun."

"What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do? A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!"