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Joke of the Day

"""I get knocked down, but I get up again You're never gonna keep me down"" ~Bowling pins"

"If I reach 700 followers, I'm gonna tweet naked for the next hour. Won't do much for you guys, but it'll certainly liven up Starbucks."

"Mom asked, ""Are you going to see the new Michael Moore documentary?"" Wife replied, ""Magic Mike XXL?"""

"[politics] I think Trump settled the whole ""tiny hands equals small penis"" argument today... It must take a pretty massive dick to fuck the entire world at once"

"Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!"

"Bill Cosby buys a really boring, run-down bar People say its so boring you might just fall asleep after one of the drinks"

"It's the 2016 Olympics And Chris Brown is still the most famous female boxer"

"i'll have a burg please [waiter looks confused] a burg. a meat frisbee. a seared bovine disc. a hamburger sandwich. a bunned beefling my man"

"What do you call a bra designed for neutrois? Ze-bra"

"My car and I have one thing in common... ...we're both broke as hell."