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Joke of the Day

"According to my cousin's diploma, he graduated from an ""Institute of Fine Farts"" because I just made an adjustment to it with a sharpie."

"My girlfriend threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at me. It's OK though, I only have super fish oil injuries."

"Ten years ago I gave up alcohol and women... it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. -George Best"

"If you see a white guy in earbuds convulsing angrily with T. Rex arms, don't freak out. I'm just jamming out to Eminem."

"Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?"

"My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified."

"I get accused of hating white people many times on here. That's not true, some of my favorite shirts are white."

"Why was the baby strawberry sad? His mom was in a jam."

"What's brown and hides in the attic? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank"

"I have a pet tree... It's just like a pet dog, but the bark is quieter."