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Joke of the Day

"We lost a planet but gained a zodiac sign. I guess that's a good constellation prize."

"Today my boss fondled my genitals! Being self-employed is great."

"Challenge for r/jokes! lets hear your best non offensive jokes. (work safe ) last time i saw this posted it was filled with so a black, jew and so on."

"Coworker: I like working with you. I feel like I can really talk to you Me: I'm sorry I gave you that impression. That's not correct"

"Doctor, how long do I have left to live? - Ten. - Ten what? - Nine."

"Why cant you trust stairs? they are always up to something..."

"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I haven't got a Ferrari in my garage"

"Honestly, after an hour of Disney Channel I don't give a shit about the future"

"The news said a condom truck overturned, spilled its huge load and made a big mess. I don't know if it got cleaned up because I fell asleep."

"So I poured my root beer into a square glass... now I just have beer [](http://i.imgur.com/FVEqK.jpg)"