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Joke of the Day

"my sister... My sister asked if I wanted to have sex, I said ""well if you incest."""

"I went to the local swimming pool today... And I asked the receptionist, ""How much for 2 children?"" She replied, ""$9.50."" ""Awesome!"" I said. ""Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip?"""

"Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too"

"Saying Romney would handle the economy better is like saying ... ... one of your friends is ""good with women"" because he's a convicted rapist."

"Okay, wait a second. I pee, I do my belt, THEN I wash my hands. I don't know about you but I've never, ever washed my belt."

"I wish we could still defeat bullies with synchronized dancing like in the 80s"

"Women! Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em or Liam Neeson will find you and kill you."

"What do you say to a woman that has two black eyes? Nothing! You already told that bitch twice. (Yeah...I know. It's horrible, but I just couldn't help myself.)"

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves? Russel."

"Can you help me with this problem? X+U=25 I think X=15, because U sure are a 10."